Index Card

This morning at work, I was typing away, sending e-mails to members of staff, reminding them about their deadlines, urging them to send the required elements...And for a moment, I stop. And I smile. A warm and bright light glows inside me.
The work was not done. I was, am and will be extremely busy for days to come. But I feel content. I feel like I'm doing something, no matter how little or insignificant. Doing things that are changing me, slowly, not into a different person, just a better version of me.
There are thousands of things that I still want to do. This very moment. But alas, we are bound by time, responsibilities, priorities. And yet, I somehow still feel content, satisfied, almost. I still manage to smile.

I've been writing more which is great. Reading more too. TV has become something of the past. It's like nothing good is ever on anymore. I miss movies and shows. All in good time though, all in good time.

Not spending so much time with my family. Not as much as I'd like. I thought I'd be really upset at that, which I am, frankly, but this break has made me appreciate them so much more, enjoy their company so much more when we are together.

This post was supposed to go up on Thursday. But it's still applicable so I'm posting it today. Also, it should not be mistaken for a sad or gloomy post. It's more of a saintly realization of contentment sort of thing...

:)

Employed

It's been hectic the past week. I feel like someone's plucked me out of my context and put me somewhere else.

I am finally working. I started last week. I'm really glad I found something similar to what I wanted...something that'll give me adequate training for my future plans. Like I said, it was a little hectic, all with settling in, getting to know the place and the staff, working out my duties etc.

But I'm optimistic. Hopefully it'll be a good experience to say the least. I'll let you know how it's going.

The thing is though, after spending a whole year at home, it's kind of weird spending less time at home and with the family. And I don't have to mention the waking up early part. I haven't done that in ages, so I'm adjusting.

I went to 360 Mall last weekend. It seems like a nice shopping mall...I mean what else can I say. But there was one thing that impressed me very much and that's the Om Kulthoom Museum they're holding there. It was really impressive. A good marketing tool too, to get people to visit the mall. Although you don't really need to spend that much of an effort marketing for a mall in Kuwait...Anyway, back to the museum, it's definately worth visitng.

What else can I cram into this post...let's see. Oh yes. Comedy. I never considered myself as a fan of the genre of comedy. I actually thought I hated it. I felt like it was unsophisticated, meaningless clowning around. I don't want to mention any names, but let's just say that the "comedians" I was exposed to prior to this point in time, weren't funny. They weren't funny, they weren't artisits, they weren't talented (And the list could go on and on and on...) But recently, I have seen the light, so to speak. I wandered unchartered paths and discovered treasures I never knew existed, great names like Jerry Lewis, Groucho Marx and Charlie Chaplin, and now I can't stop admiring the gem that is comedy.

I feel like this topic is going to take many more words to cover, and I really want to share my new fascination with you, so I'll stop here today, but I promise to write more on this subject.

Until then...

Back

Hello.

I haven't disappeared off of the face of the Earth, so I don't have a good excuse for not posting in ages. Ages being exactly 2 months and 3 days. And I can't say that nothing has been happening because plenty of things happened but I just...and at the risk of sounding like a selfish, un-dedicated b****, I just didn't feel like blogging.

Whenever that voice of reason crept by my ear and said, "F., your blog needs updating. Go and post something, it'll be good for you," I shunned it, and went on doing the mundane things that have become my life. Even when the voice started sounding like, "Look at what you've turned into! Your brain cells have decreased in both amount and size, now GO BLOG!!!" I wouldn't listen. It was like I was lulled; I was alive, but not quite living.

Something needed to happen. I won't say it has yet, but I feel it coming soon. It's as if I have been walking along this road in a deserted town. But I have finally reached the turn, the curve in the road. and I can't really see what's coming, but I shall welcome it with open arms when it comes because I need the change.

And in the wise words of some Christina Baldwin, "Change is the constant, the signal for rebirth, the egg of the phoenix."

To celebrate "the come-back" and to reinforce this idea of change and new beginnings, I might be changing my layout. I have my eye on one which is new but still has the same feel to it. We'll see how it goes.

The above ramblings have been tweeked and twisted to make reality seem more dramatic. Trust at your own risk.

21

Flutter

Crushing.

Over a boy that is.

A boy I might never actually meet. But still it feels amazing.

*SCREAMS A HAPPY SCREAM*

*Snaps out of it*

I am feeling really excited. Dancing and listening to music much more than before. Feeling like dressing up and looking good. Like doing something active. Going out. I'm being optimistic about the job. Wanting to go on a summer shopping spree. Craving cool pools and a good tan. The sound of the sun embracing by body and sizzling it into a deeper shade of copper. Copper. Lovely colour.

*Realises she hasn't really snapped out of it*

I wish my mother all the best. Allah y5aleeha lina inshallah wala ya7rimna minha.

Same goes out to all the mothers of the world. A mother is the root of everything.

Hugs and Kisses.

Androgynous

Well...it's been busy lately but the fuss is over. Most probably to make time for more fuss. But that's life, isn't it?

After the prize giving ceremony for honours students, and after watching the video over and over again with the family...I felt so loved. So I just want to say this, for the record: I love you all so much, proud to be one of you. This is just the fruit of what you have sown. My success is your own. Thank you so very much.

(That read like an Oscar thank-you-speech. :P Got a little carried away!)

(Oh and the rhyming bit was completely unintentional. LOL.)

I'm happy to say that I have finally gotten round to work on something...research paper-wise. When it's done I might give you guys a glimpse. Let's just hope I stick to it all the way through. Keep reminding me.

I've accidentally come across a German band called Tokio Hotel. And you know how sometimes you say things, or you make rules for yourself, like in this case, "I do not like to listen to emo teenagers singing about how they secretly love that nobody understands them." Well, I sort of can't help it sometimes. I'm stuck especially on two of their songs. And I listen to both the English and German versions (I prefer the German ones though. P.S. I am really really good with languages...I speak 3 and comprehend 2 other ones...but German is one language I cannot seem to be able to get my head around. But still I like the songs.)

I couldn't find a better video. This is a live performance in Italy, and the singing's in English. The song is called Monsoon (Durch Den Monsun):

Tags: The Butterfly Award and Favourites.

I humbly recieve this award for one of the coolest blogs visited by Borzaiga. Thank you.

Also, I was tagged by A Journal Entry. I hate "What's your favourite" type questions...They are so hard to answer because I don't usually have one ultimate favourite of thing of anything. You can probably see I'm getting nervous already. So bare with me.

Favourite colour: See?! I seriously don't have one.

Favourite getaway place: Bathroom? :P

Favourite perfume (guys): I love men's perfume in general.

Favourite perfume (girls): I don't have a favourite.

Favourite pj brand: Again. (What kind of question is that?!)

Favourite clothes brand in general: No particular one.

Favourite person in the entire world: Me!

Favourite country (not including your own): None.

Favourite car: Classics in general.

Favourite sport: No favourites. I like tennis, volleyball, diving.

Favourite sport player: He's not a favourite, but I like tennis pro Rafael Nadal.

Favourite spot in Kuwait: :/ Who makes these questions? I don't have a favourite spot.

Favourite animal: I don't like animals. But I like my pet cat.

Favourite movie: No favourites.

Favourite singer: No favourites.

Favourite day in the week: I like weekends most I think.

Favourite time of the day: :S Between 2:30 and 5:30 pm?

Favourite holiday season: Summer.

Favourite number: !

Favourite food: I like french fries. And soups.

Favourite chocolate: I don't know.

Favourite cartoon: Samurai Jack is pretty cool.

Favourite bloggers: The ones I follow I guess.

Favourite Flavour Ice Cream: Depends.

Favourite actress: No favourites.

Favourite nail colour and brand: No preference.

Favourite drink: Water.

That wasn't so bad. For me at least. Although I'd like to see what you guys thought after reading that list of boring nothingness...Sorry! Oh. And if you like the idea...and want to continue the list. Go ahead. Tag yourself.

Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better

So my sister left for school last night...she's probably still somewhere in the skies right now. I just want to say I love her so much, and I'm proud of her strength and will power. The last thing she whispered in my ear before heading towards the gate was to find myself a job already, which made be laugh despite my watery eyes.

It is about time...that I get a job. I've been unemployed since June...I'm just not sure about what I really want...I'm not sure where to start, or where to look...(this is your queue to spill encouraging and full-of-advice comments :P )

My dad thinks I should spend all this free time writing. "It's what you like doing, isn't it? And you've got all this time...use it before it's too late." Okay dad. I'll just have to grow inspiration seeds outside my window sill and everything'll be dandy.

We went to the carboot sale at AUK this morning. I loved the atmosphere...it was so...I don't know...get-togethery! The weather was beautiful, the spirit was fun, and there were some cool stuff on sale. We should definately have more activities like this in Kuwait. Way to go Marketing Club (organizers)!

Here's a GAP ad I really love. I love these two (Claire Danes and Patrick Wilson.)



Question: How many times did I say "love" in this post?

Good Times

Hello everyone. It's been quite hectic lately with my sister back for the holidays and us trying to make the most out of her short visit. We went camping, had loads of fun with the family. We sang, danced, ate, played kids' games like "7ay Almeed." It was very cold. We played cherades and Uno till dawn. A Mcdonalds snack before going to bed.

That was last week. This weekend we went to the Khiran Resort. Again with the family. Again we danced, sang, ate, played ping-pong, bowling and air hockey...Again it was freezing cold. Again we stayed up till the morning, playing Truth or Dare...without the daring part. We celebrated my cousin's birthday and my parents anniversary on the 31st...then enjoyed a spectacular show of fireworks for the new year. I just love fireworks. They make me smile.

Anyway...I wish you all another year of love, of life, of laughter. I wish you all a happy new year.

Here's a very little piece I wrote while I was away...enjoy, and comment please:

At the 500M mark I sit. The cold wind pierces my skin like a thousand needles. The dark clouds invading the sky above, the sun forever trying to win back its place in the heavens. The sea an iron sheet of rippled steel, still but moving. At the 500M mark I sit. The quiet forces me to stay despite the ache that grips my bones because of the cold. The quiet intrigues me. It speaks to me, calm but tumultuous, silent but humming. At the 500M mark I sit.

Dream Car

When one turns eighteen here, there is an inevitable question that has to be asked and duly answered.That question is: What is your dream car? (Or some other variation of it)Generally speaking, the Kuwaiti youth would already have prepared an answer to the aforementioned question. A Range Rover Sport was my sister's answer. A pepsi blue Wolks-Vagen Touareg, a Jaguar and a Mercedez-Benz jeep were among my other sister's choices.They don't necessarily get those dream cars, but it seems to be absolutely essential that a decision be made as to what dream car you dream of getting once you're eighteen.But when eighteen hit me, so did the horror of not having an answer to that seemingly divine question. What car do you want to drive? To be honest, I gave the matter some serious thought. I said to myself, let's see...I hadn't come up with anything (I couldn't have, really, I only thought for about a millisecond) when my sister interupted with quite an angry remark: "How difficult can this be? What car have you dreamt about driving all these years?!"And then it dawned on me...I didn't have a dream car. So that's what I said, I said: I...I guess I don't have one...I really haven't ever thought about driving, and dream cars, and other things of that sort."My sister's reaction? Well, what seemed like an angry remark only seconds earlier, was topped by a furious statement: Stop trying to be different all the time! (But that's a whole other different story I'll have to tell you about later.)

I learnt how to drive though. I didn't buy a car (nobody bought me one either) but indeed, I learnt to drive soon after turning eighteen and have been driving ever since. I drive my mother's old car, which isn't really old, but it's not new either. It functions alright, you know, it moves. Some light signals work of their own accord, the A/C has proved to be of a faultering nature and the seat covers are splattered with permenant diet Coke stains, but it gets you to places and back. And that's what cars are supposed to do, right? That should be enough. And it was. It is. And I'm not complaining. Not about the car, that is. Driving and it's pleasures, after two humble years of experience however, have proven to be, at least to me, extremely over-rated. I've met a fair amount of people who have described to me the high they get when they grab the steering wheel, and push their foot on the gas pedal, to the max, and see that highway disappear into the horizon in their rear view mirror. I've heard them talk about how the most relaxing thing they can ever imagine is a slow drive in the rain. Driving seemed to be the best thing ever. Not to me it didn't. And I'll tell you why not.

There are so many things that can go wrong when you're in a car, or on the road. Traffic, for one, would drive anyone insane! You try to deal with it, put up with it, work your way around it, but having to deal with it day after day after day...it's just, too much. Plus, no one (I must not generalize) most drivers ignore all driving rules known to mankind which is plain frustrating. Also, when you are under the mercy of a vehicle, a moving man-made automobile, that might decide to stop moving in the middle of the road, or that might choose not to work the brake pedal...it's plain scary. What about the little things that happen oh-so-often when you drive a car? The thought of the trouble that a flat tire, or a leak might bring along increases stress levels to unprecidented hights. And I haven't mentioned accidents yet.

Today, when the family was discussing the dream car issue again, on my cousin's eighteenth birthday, it couldn't be easier making up my mind as to the answer to the question this time. I would rather walk!

Comfortably Numb

I was visiting Do0da's blog and getting a glimpse of his profile before I entered his blog, I realised that I hadn't changed my "Occupation" field.

I am no longer a student. Or I am currently not a student anymore.

Does it suck that I am now a nothing? I mean I'm a girl, yes. I am a daughter, a sister, a friend...but I'm also a nothing. Heh.

I'm not one for freaking out at something like that...but I kinda need your comforting words. So bring 'em on.

I advised my mum to do puzzles like Sudoku, crosswords and Rubik cubes because I'd heard that working your brain like that prevents one from getting Alzhimers. At the time she said that she'd do whatever she liked, even if it was to sit on the couch all day long watching Desperate Housewives on her laptop. But as I'm writing this post she's sitting infront of me scribbling on the puzzle page in the newspaper. How cute is that?!

The Sound of Music

So in case you haven't already heard, my iPod Nano went bust! I took it to the iPod guru at Digits in Marina Mall and he said the motherboard was infested with H2O molecules...Basically, getting myself a new iTouch would be a better choice than getting the old one fixed. Now it's only a matter of whether I should get the 16GB or the 32GB one...We'll see.

In preparation for this new purchase of mine, I thought I should make some sort of interactive post. All you have to do is list 3 must-have songs that you think I should have on my new iPod. How about it? 3 songs you think would add something to my music collection...Just for the record, I listen to all sorts of music, from all different genres, cultures and types. So surprise me! And sure enough, as soon as I get hold of the songs I'll be giving you feedback on what I think of the songs you chose for me.

Now I'm all excited so get typing. ;D

Tag: If I win KD 1,000,000...

Let's see...

Well I would definately give my parents some, 50,000 each let's say. Then my two sisters and my brother...20,000 each for them. So I now have 840,000...

Invest 100,000. In the stock market perhaps...

I'd buy land here in Kuwait. A loft/apartment somewhere else...Dubai perhaps.

Give to charity...Fighting hunger, desease and illeteracy.

The numbers are a bit vague now, but I'd say those were my main concerns right now. Oh yes, and I've always wanted to have my own university for the gifted. I can imagine the smart uniforms, the lucious interiors, and the excellent quality education of course. Only that dream is rather far-fetched so...we'll leave it at that for now!

How about you? What would you do with a million KD?

Tag: Flickr Mosaic

Put your answers to the following questions into the search field on Flickr.com and choose your favourite picture from the first page only and create your own mosaic here.

What's your name?

Your favourite food?

Your High School?

Your favourite colour?

Your celebrity crush?

Your favourite drink?

Dream Vacation?

Favourite dessert?

Your dream job?

The thing you like best in this world?

A word that describes you?

Your (Flickr) nickname?

20

I am 20 years old today...

I think I have Peter-Pan-syndrome...not wanting to grow up...sigh! I know I'm not going to feel much different...it's just the prospect of handling more serious stuff, having more responsibilities...but that's inevitable right? Ugh! Why can't I just enjoy this like all normal people?!

So anyway, I thought I'd give you all a gift to celebrate. I'm going to give each one of you a chance to ask me whatever question you choose, and I'll try to answer them as best as I can.

Surprise me!

F. says: Hello

Hello,
It's F. I'm so excited to be blogging again. You see, I used to have a blog but I stopped posting because I became really busy and I wasn't as committed to my blog as I thought I was. Yes, that is a very cliché reason to stop blogging, but then again...
I know it's a nuisance to start all over (as I am finding it incredibly difficult to write my first post) get regular visitors and so on, but I think it's a great chance to try again at expressing myself. I believe I've changed since my last blogging experience so this will be different and hopefully enjoyable for you and me, so we'll see how things go!