Once we come in we are rushedly introduced. Due to the awkwardness of the moment no one really remembers who you are. We sit and try to appear as polite as possible. Not that I'm not polite for real or anything. Just extra polite to give a good impression. After a short while, in an attempt to start a conversation, we start making small talk which leads nowhere. It is only after some food is served that the solid barriers raised by formalities begin to become lean and less rigid. As the food next has to be digested, and the blood in ones body rushes to the aid of the stomach, it leaves the mind unsupported, unattended which leads to us making fools out of ourselves. It seems that to have good sense of humour is the easiest way to get something going. You say the lamest things, you force a smile which is willing to show itself just to keep things going now that people have started to chat. You are never yourself. They are never themselves. Sadly, you only realise that when you lie in your bed, later that night, unable to focus on the bad book you are currently reading. If you're lucky, you might realise it as you shake hands, saying your thank-yous, come-agains, and your goodbyes, most probably never to meet each other again and you think, "I wanted to get to know you better. I wanted you to get to know me better." Without the formalities, without the unnecessary jokes, without the extravagant masks. Did you know that I can write, and that I love tennis and philosophy? Can you play the piano? Do you know first aid? Have you traveled the world? I wanted to get to know you better, and I wanted you to know who I really am.

I wrote this while I was half asleep. But I chose to post it (as it was first written, without any patching-up or editing). So forgive the oh-so-unprofessional shabbyness.


Amethyst said...

That's why I wear the most transparent mask possible..

jesterat314 said...

shabbiness? you kidding? You should write more posts when you're half asleep!

N. said...

So much depth.

Kaos said...

attitude, u don't have to feel that way amongst them. You shine
I totally relate to the honest thoughts, always blog when ur half sleep ;p

F. said...

Amethyst: What about the others? It's not enough to be revealed alone.

Jester: Really?! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

N.: Yeah. Been feeling kinda "deep" lately...

Kaos: Perhaps they are just shy? I don't know. I'm glad you liked the post. I appreciate it.

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